What does the Bible say about dating?
Let’s be honest—the Bible doesn’t talk about dating the way we think about it today. There are no verses on texting etiquette, first date red flags, or whether Christians should use dating apps. But that doesn’t mean Scripture leaves us in the dark. It just means we need to dig deeper. The Bible gives us something far more valuable than a list of modern rules. It gives us wisdom, priorities, and a big-picture view of relationships rooted in God’s design.
At its core, dating is about the desire for connection. We long for companionship, to be known and loved. That longing isn’t a flaw—it’s part of how we were made. Genesis 2:18 says, “It is not good that the man should be alone.” God created Eve not as an accessory, but as a partner. This passage isn’t a template for romantic dating, but it reveals something essential: we were designed for meaningful, covenantal relationships.
So what happens when we bring that truth into the dating world?
Discernment Over Infatuation
The Bible repeatedly encourages wisdom, especially in matters of the heart. Proverbs is full of reminders that fools rush in, but the wise seek understanding. That applies to dating too. It’s not just about chemistry or compatibility; it’s about discernment. Paul prays in Philippians 1:9–10 that believers would grow in “love that abounds in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best.” That’s a great prayer for anyone navigating dating.
A big part of discernment involves character. What kind of person are you drawn to? What kind of person are you becoming? The Bible places a high value on spiritual maturity, kindness, and integrity. Galatians 5:22–23 gives us the fruit of the Spirit—love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. If those things aren’t showing up in someone’s life, it’s a red flag.
Don’t Be Unequally Yoked
One of the most quoted verses when talking about dating is 2 Corinthians 6:14: “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers.” That’s strong language, and for good reason. A yoke is a farming tool used to bind two animals together so they move in the same direction. If one pulls toward a different path—or stops altogether—everything gets off course.
Dating someone who doesn’t share your faith isn’t just “less than ideal.” It’s a deep spiritual mismatch. Believers are called to build their lives around Christ. If your partner doesn’t share that foundation, it affects everything—values, goals, future decisions, even how you handle conflict. This isn’t about superiority or exclusion; it’s about direction. Two people can’t walk closely if they’re not heading the same way.
Purity and the Body as a Temple
Another area where the Bible speaks clearly—even if uncomfortably—is sexual purity. In today’s culture, dating and sex are usually assumed to go together. But Scripture consistently calls Christians to a higher standard. 1 Thessalonians 4:3–5 says, “For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality.” And 1 Corinthians 6:19–20 reminds believers that their bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit.
This isn’t about shame or rules for rules’ sake. It’s about value and reverence. When God calls us to honor our bodies, He’s not trying to restrict us—He’s protecting us. Purity isn’t just about what you don’t do; it’s about what you’re saving and honoring. That changes how we think about dating. The goal isn’t just a good time or even emotional intimacy—it’s about growing into the kind of person who can give and receive love in a way that mirrors God’s faithfulness.
Dating With Purpose
The Bible speaks of marriage as a sacred covenant. Ephesians 5:31–32 shows that marriage reflects the union between Christ and the church. It’s not a casual contract—it’s a living metaphor for the Gospel. That means dating, as a path that may lead to marriage, should be approached with purpose and reverence.
That doesn’t mean you need to be engaged by date three. But it does mean that aimless dating—or dating just to soothe loneliness—misses the mark. Relationships should be intentional. If marriage isn’t even on the radar, it’s worth asking why the relationship exists at all. Christians are free to enjoy getting to know someone, but the goal should be more than just fun—it should be holiness, growth, and mutual encouragement in Christ.
Dating in Light of the Gospel
Here’s where this conversation gets even richer. The Gospel reframes everything about dating. We live in a culture that says, “Find the one who completes you.” But the Gospel says, “You’re already complete in Christ.” Your identity isn’t wrapped up in your relationship status. You don’t date to find worth—you date from a place of worth already secured at the cross.
That shift matters. It means we’re not desperate. We’re not trying to fill a void. We can date with clarity and peace, knowing that Christ is our ultimate security. That’s what makes Christian dating different. It’s not a frantic search—it’s a thoughtful pursuit, shaped by Scripture and guided by grace.
It also means we hold our dating life with open hands. Not every relationship will lead to marriage. And that’s okay. Sometimes God uses those seasons to shape us, teach us, or refine our view of what really matters. That doesn’t make it a failure—it makes it preparation.
Community and Accountability
Dating was never meant to be a solo mission. The early church lived in deep community (Acts 2:42–47), and while dating as we know it didn’t exist back then, the principle of doing life together still applies. Seeking advice, inviting others into your relationship journey, and listening to wise counsel can help you avoid blind spots.
If you’re dating in secret—or if no one in your church or faith community knows your partner—it’s worth asking why. Godly accountability isn’t about control; it’s about clarity. The people who know you well and love Jesus are often best positioned to help you see what’s real, what’s rushed, and what’s worth pursuing.
A Word on Abortion and Relationship Boundaries
No conversation about dating is complete without addressing the hard realities of our world. Dating relationships today don’t happen in a vacuum. They happen in a culture where hookup culture, pornography, and even abortion are woven into the broader conversation about sex and relationships.
The Bible is clear about the value of life. From conception to death, every human bears God’s image. While the Bible doesn’t mention abortion in modern terms, the heart of its message is undeniable: life is sacred. That has real implications for dating. Casual sex isn’t just risky behavior—it’s a context where human life can be devalued. Honoring God in relationships means protecting life, guarding purity, and pursuing love in a way that lifts up rather than tears down.
Waiting in Hope, Not in Fear
Finally, let’s talk about waiting. Some people reading this might be single and wondering if dating will ever work out. Others might be in the middle of it and feeling discouraged. Here’s the good news: God sees you. He hasn’t forgotten you. And your life isn’t on pause until you find someone.
The Bible never promises marriage to everyone. But it does promise that God is near to the brokenhearted, faithful to His people, and working all things for the good of those who love Him. And in the grand story of Scripture, marriage is a shadow of something greater—the coming union between Christ and His bride, the church.
So whether you’re dating, married, or single, your ultimate joy isn’t in a person—it’s in a Savior. And that truth brings peace, purpose, and hope to every season.
Bible Verses about dating:
2 Corinthians 6:14, "Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?"
1 Corinthians 13:4-7, "Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."
Proverbs 4:23, "Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life."
Hebrews 13:4, "Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous."
Song of Solomon 2:7, "I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles or the does of the field, that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases."
Ephesians 5:25, "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her."
