What Does the Bible Say About Quarreling?
The Bible speaks frequently and clearly about the dangers of quarreling, warning that it undermines peace, damages relationships, and reflects a lack of spiritual maturity. Rather than treating quarreling as a minor flaw, Scripture presents it as a sign of deeper issues in the heart—issues that God calls His people to address through humility, patience, and the pursuit of reconciliation.
1. How the Bible Defines Quarreling
In the Bible, quarreling generally refers to contentious disputes marked by pride, harsh words, and a refusal to seek peace. Proverbs warns that careless speech can provoke quarrels, and that meddling in someone else’s dispute is like grabbing a stray dog by the ears (Proverbs 26:17). Gossip and slander also act like fuel for quarreling; when these stop, conflict often dies down (Proverbs 26:20).
The biblical picture is clear—quarreling is not just disagreement but the sinful escalation of conflict through words and attitudes that fail to reflect God’s character.
2. Why Quarreling Is Spiritually Dangerous
The Bible associates quarreling with spiritual immaturity and worldliness. James warns that slandering others and passing judgment usurps God’s role as the only true lawgiver and judge (James 4:11–12). Paul identifies jealousy and quarreling as evidence that believers are still living according to the flesh, not the Spirit (1 Corinthians 3:3).
In this light, quarreling is more than a relational problem—it is a spiritual problem. It reveals a heart unwilling to submit to God’s authority, preferring personal victory over godly peace.
3. How Believers Should Respond to Quarreling
The Bible does not merely warn against quarreling—it calls believers to take active steps to avoid it. Romans 14:1 urges Christians to accept one another without quarreling over disputable matters. The focus, instead, should be on righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit (Romans 14:17).
Practically, this means:
Refusing to engage in needless disputes.
Choosing words that build up rather than tear down.
Seeking reconciliation rather than “winning” the argument.
Remembering that unity in Christ is more important than being right on secondary issues.
4. How the Gospel Transforms Our Approach to Quarreling
The Gospel provides both the reason and the power to overcome quarreling. Christ has reconciled believers to God through His death and resurrection, removing the hostility between us and our Creator (Ephesians 2:14–16). If God has made peace with us, then we are called to be peacemakers in our relationships.
Quarreling often flows from pride and a desire for self-justification. The Gospel confronts both by reminding us that our righteousness is not found in winning arguments but in Christ alone. This frees us to respond with humility, patience, and grace—even toward those who wrong us.
Conclusion
The Bible consistently teaches that quarreling is a destructive habit that dishonors God, divides His people, and signals spiritual immaturity. While disagreements will inevitably arise, Christians are called to handle them in ways that reflect the peace of Christ. This means guarding our words, resisting gossip and slander, and prioritizing reconciliation over personal victory. In a world that thrives on conflict, the church is to be a community marked by the absence of quarreling and the presence of peace.
Bible Verses About Quarreling
Proverbs 26:17, “Whoever meddles in a quarrel not his own is like one who takes a passing dog by the ears.”
Proverbs 26:20, “For lack of wood the fire goes out, and where there is no whisperer, quarreling ceases.”
James 4:11–12, “Do not speak evil against one another, brothers. The one who speaks against a brother or judges his brother speaks evil against the law and judges the law. But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge. There is only one lawgiver and judge, he who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor?”
1 Corinthians 3:3, “For you are still of the flesh. For while there is jealousy and strife among you, are you not of the flesh and behaving only in a human way?”
Romans 14:1, “As for the one who is weak in faith, welcome him, but not to quarrel over opinions.”
Romans 14:17, “For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking but of righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.”
