What Does the Bible Say About Unforgiveness?
The Bible speaks extensively about forgiveness, not merely as a moral nicety, but as an essential element of the believer’s relationship with God. Unforgiveness is more than holding a grudge—it is a posture of the heart that resists extending to others the same mercy God has shown us in Christ. Scripture warns that this attitude not only harms relationships but can also reveal a deeper spiritual problem: a heart untouched by God’s grace.
In biblical terms, unforgiveness is not a neutral state—it is spiritually corrosive, leading to bitterness, division, and even estrangement from God.
1. Forgiveness in the Bible Is Rooted in God’s Character
Before the Bible commands us to forgive others, it shows us that God Himself is a forgiving God. In Exodus 34:6–7, God reveals Himself as “merciful and gracious… forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin.” This is not sentimental tolerance; it is a costly mercy rooted in His holy nature.
The New Testament clarifies how this forgiveness is secured—through the cross of Christ. Ephesians 1:7 declares, “In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses.” This means forgiveness is not optional for Christians; it is a defining characteristic of those who have been forgiven.
2. How Jesus Confronts Unforgiveness
Jesus repeatedly warned about the danger of unforgiveness. In the parable of the unforgiving servant (Matthew 18:21–35), He describes a man forgiven of an unpayable debt who refuses to forgive a small debt owed to him. The master’s judgment is swift: the servant is delivered to the jailers until he pays his debt. Jesus concludes, “So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.”
Here, unforgiveness is portrayed not merely as a sin against another person, but as evidence of failing to grasp the magnitude of God’s mercy. If we withhold forgiveness, we demonstrate that we have not truly experienced—or do not value—the forgiveness we have received.
3. The Apostolic Teaching on Forgiveness
The Apostle Paul reinforces this teaching. In Colossians 3:13, he writes, “As the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.” Similarly, in Ephesians 4:32, Paul commands believers to “be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”
Paul’s instructions link forgiveness directly to the gospel. Just as our justification is grounded in Christ’s atoning work, so our forgiveness of others should flow from that same source. This theological grounding means that unforgiveness is not merely a personal failing—it contradicts the very message of the gospel we claim to believe.
4. Unforgiveness as a Barrier to Prayer and Fellowship
The Bible also shows that unforgiveness disrupts our relationship with God. In Mark 11:25, Jesus says, “Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.” This teaching does not suggest that God’s forgiveness is earned by ours, but that an unforgiving heart is incompatible with true communion with God.
Unforgiveness acts like a spiritual blockade. It hinders prayer, disrupts church unity, and leaves believers vulnerable to Satan’s schemes (2 Corinthians 2:10–11).
5. The Difficulty and Cost of Forgiveness
The Bible never denies the challenge of forgiving deep wounds, especially when the offense comes from someone close. Jesus Himself experienced betrayal, denial, and unjust execution—yet His final words on the cross included a prayer for His executioners: “Father, forgive them” (Luke 23:34).
Forgiveness does not mean excusing sin, ignoring justice, or pretending that wrong never happened. Instead, it is releasing the right to exact personal vengeance, entrusting justice to God, and seeking reconciliation when possible. This is costly—it requires dying to self and living in light of Christ’s example.
6. Is Forgiveness Unconditional?
Some passages suggest forgiveness is tied to repentance. Luke 17:3–4 instructs believers to forgive if the offender repents, even seven times in a day. This shows that forgiveness in the Bible has both an attitude component (a readiness to forgive) and a transactional component (restoration when repentance occurs).
This distinction helps address concerns about enabling sin. A Christian may maintain a forgiving heart while setting boundaries with an unrepentant person. Forgiveness does not always mean immediate reconciliation, but it always means releasing bitterness.
7. The Warning of the “Unforgivable Sin”
While the Bible generally teaches that any sin can be forgiven through repentance and faith in Christ, it also warns of the “blasphemy against the Holy Spirit” (Mark 3:29)—often interpreted as persistent, willful rejection of Christ and His saving work. This is not unforgiveness toward another person, but an ultimate refusal to receive God’s forgiveness.
This warning underscores the urgency of living in a posture of humility and repentance, both toward God and toward others.
8. Unforgiveness and the Gospel
From a gospel-centered perspective, unforgiveness contradicts the message of Christ’s kingdom. The gospel proclaims that God has reconciled sinners to Himself through Christ’s death and resurrection. If God, the offended party, has moved toward us in grace, then we, as His people, are called to extend that same grace.
This reflects the larger biblical narrative: God’s plan is to unite all things in Christ (Ephesians 1:10). Our refusal to forgive resists that plan and aligns more closely with the brokenness of the old creation than with the new creation reality inaugurated in Christ.
9. The Eternal Perspective on Forgiveness
The Bible ties forgiveness to the hope of the new heavens and new earth. In that final restoration, all sin will be judged, all wrongs will be made right, and God’s people will live in perfect harmony. Holding on to unforgiveness now is incompatible with the reality we are destined for in eternity.
When Jesus teaches us to pray, “Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors” (Matthew 6:12), He is calling us to live in the present as citizens of that coming kingdom.
10. Practical Steps to Overcome Unforgiveness
The Bible not only warns against unforgiveness but also provides practical guidance for replacing it with grace:
Remember God’s mercy – Reflect often on the magnitude of your own forgiveness in Christ.
Pray for your offender – This shifts your heart from bitterness toward compassion.
Let go of thoughts of vengeance – Trust God’s justice rather than seeking your own.
Seek reconciliation when possible – Pursue peace without enabling sin.
Live in community – Allow fellow believers to encourage and hold you accountable in the journey toward forgiveness.
Conclusion: Forgiven People Forgive
The Bible makes it clear: unforgiveness is not a minor flaw; it is a serious spiritual issue. Forgiveness is at the heart of the gospel, and refusing to extend it misrepresents the very message of Christ.
As recipients of God’s mercy, Christians are called to forgive as they have been forgiven. This is not easy, but it is possible through the power of the Holy Spirit, who conforms our hearts to the image of Christ. In doing so, we bear witness to the reconciling power of the gospel and live in anticipation of the day when all sin and unforgiveness will be gone forever.
Bible Verses About Unforgiveness and Forgiveness
Matthew 6:14–15 – “If you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you…”
Matthew 18:21–22 – “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.”
Matthew 18:35 – “Forgive your brother from your heart.”
Mark 11:25 – “Whenever you stand praying, forgive…”
Luke 6:37 – “Forgive, and you will be forgiven.”
Luke 17:3–4 – “If he repents, forgive him.”
Ephesians 4:32 – “Forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”
Colossians 3:13 – “As the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.”
2 Corinthians 2:10–11 – “We would not be outwitted by Satan; for we are not ignorant of his designs.”
Hebrews 12:15 – “See to it… that no root of bitterness springs up and causes trouble.”
