What Does the Bible Say About Courtship or Dating?
Many people wonder what the Bible says about dating, courting, and romantic relationships. Scripture does not describe modern dating, but it speaks extensively about marriage, sexual purity, wisdom, and the character of relationships between men and women. These teachings give clear principles for how Christians should pursue romance. According to the Bible, romantic relationships must be shaped by God’s design for marriage (Genesis 2:24), God’s call to holiness (1 Thessalonians 4:3–5), and God’s gift of love within its proper context (Song of Solomon 2:7). Dating and courting are therefore not isolated activities but part of a bigger biblical vision.
1. The Bible grounds all romantic relationships in God’s design for marriage
Biblical teaching on dating begins with Scripture’s definition of marriage. Marriage is a covenantal union established by God when He brought the first man and woman together. Genesis teaches that a man “shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). This one-flesh union is permanent, exclusive, and oriented toward shared life.
Scripture highlights several truths about marriage:
Marriage is created by God (Genesis 2:18–24).
Marriage is intended to be lifelong — Jesus teaches, “What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate” (Matthew 19:6).
Marriage involves full union of life and body (Genesis 2:24).
Marriage is honorable and should be kept pure (Hebrews 13:4).
Because dating and courting exist to discern a marriage covenant, the Bible rejects all sexual relationships outside of marriage. Scripture consistently calls believers to sexual purity: “For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality” (1 Thessalonians 4:3). The Christian vision for dating begins with this foundational truth: romance must move toward a covenant that reflects God’s design.
2. The Bible warns against awakening romantic love prematurely
The Bible speaks directly about timing in romantic relationships. Song of Solomon repeats the warning, “Do not stir up or awaken love until it pleases” (Song of Solomon 2:7; 3:5; 8:4). This expresses a principle: romantic affection should be treated carefully and not pursued before one is ready for the covenant that gives it proper context.
This biblical caution reflects several realities:
Love is powerful and easily misused without wisdom.
Physical affection belongs within marriage (1 Corinthians 7:1–2).
Premature intimacy often produces shame and regret (Proverbs 5:3–14).
Wisdom calls for restraint and thoughtful discernment (Proverbs 4:23).
The Bible does not portray romance as sinful or restrictive. Instead, Scripture teaches that love is meant to be enjoyed “in its time” — within a covenant that protects, honors, and fulfills it. When dating and courting honor this timing, they align with the Bible’s teaching on love and holiness.
3. Believers are called to holiness in their bodies and relationships
The Bible says that Christians must honor God with their bodies: “You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body” (1 Corinthians 6:19–20). Because the body is “a temple of the Holy Spirit,” believers must practice sexual purity, self-control, and holiness in dating or courting.
Scripture teaches:
Avoid sexual immorality (1 Thessalonians 4:3).
Pursue self-control in desires and actions (1 Thessalonians 4:4–5).
Flee sexual temptation (1 Corinthians 6:18).
Think with purity and honor (Philippians 4:8).
The biblical vision is not simply about avoiding wrongdoing but about living a life shaped by God’s holiness: “Be holy, for I am holy” (1 Peter 1:15–16). Dating and courting must reflect this calling. Romantic relationships should cultivate spiritual maturity, not compromise it.
4. The Bible presents marriage as the covenantal goal of romantic pursuit
Because Scripture frames romance within the covenant of marriage, dating and courting should aim at discerning whether marriage is possible and wise. Biblical wisdom encourages intentionality rather than emotional drifting.
Several biblical principles guide this:
Marriage involves shared faith — “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers” (2 Corinthians 6:14).
Marriage calls for sacrificial love (Ephesians 5:25).
Marriage reflects Christ and the church (Ephesians 5:31–32).
Marriage requires maturity and readiness (Proverbs 24:27).
The goal of dating and courting is not pleasure without purpose or intimacy without commitment. Scripture calls believers to pursue relationships that honor Christ, reflect holiness, and prepare for a covenant designed to withstand life’s trials. Dating is therefore an act of discipleship — a space to practice wisdom, discern character, and seek God’s will.
5. The Bible affirms the goodness of love — in its proper place
Biblical teaching on dating is not restrictive but protective. The Bible views love as a gift from God: “Many waters cannot quench love” (Song of Solomon 8:7). Romantic love is designed to bring joy, companionship, and fruitfulness. But Scripture teaches that this joy is fullest when rooted in the marriage covenant God designed.
The Bible presents:
Love that rejoices (Song of Solomon 1:2–3).
Love that delights in one’s spouse (Proverbs 5:18–19).
Love that produces unity and life (Genesis 1:28; 2:24).
Love that reflects Christ’s commitment (Ephesians 5:25).
This kind of love is not available through casual dating or unrestrained romance. It is found in the covenant bond that Scripture calls “very good” from the beginning (Genesis 1:31). Dating and courting serve to move toward this good gift by cultivating wisdom, purity, and devotion.
Conclusion
The Bible’s teaching on dating and courting is rooted in its broader vision of marriage, purity, wisdom, and holiness. Scripture warns against awakening love prematurely, calls believers to honor God with their bodies, and affirms romantic love as a joyful gift when experienced within the covenant of marriage. Dating and courting are not modern inventions that fall outside biblical guidance; they are opportunities for Christians to walk in purity, pursue wisdom, and seek God’s will as they move toward a lifelong, covenantal union.
Bible Verses About Dating, Courting, and Romantic Wisdom
“Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife.” (Genesis 2:24)
“What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” (Matthew 19:6)
“Do not stir up or awaken love until it pleases.” (Song of Solomon 2:7)
“This is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality.” (1 Thessalonians 4:3)
“Flee from sexual immorality.” (1 Corinthians 6:18)
“Your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit.” (1 Corinthians 6:19)
“Love the wife of your youth.” (Proverbs 5:18)
“Be holy in all your conduct.” (1 Peter 1:15)
“Above all else, guard your heart.” (Proverbs 4:23)
“The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience…” (Galatians 5:22–23)
